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Something unusual

Submitted by Sanhita Pandey / Instagram: @sanhitapandey

I got my first anxiety attack after scoring an excellent 9/80 in my business exam of Class 12. I never passed that subject, but this time my parents got on my nerves as they thought I would fail the boards!

I remember my mom crying about my marks as I fell to the ground. I don’t remember anything after that. My eyes opened only at the hospital, with all the machines attached to my body. The doctor told my parents that I’d had anxiety issues for a long time – something that neither my parents nor I had ever acknowledged.

After a long conversation with the doctor my parents came to me and told me what he said. My father asked "anxiety because of marks? But even if you fail, it’s okay!"

He was very supportive in that way. But he failed to recognise that I do have a mental issue. I was even more affected when the doctor himself came to me and told me that there’s nothing like anxiety. Just work harder and you’ll score!

That day I realised that mental disorders are still not a valid “problem” or “issue” to be addressed. That night when I slept, I felt alone and pressurised, like a burden, good for nothing. And it’s that feeling that drives me to write about such issues today. I don’t want anyone to feel that way, to overthink and, most importantly, to feel like a burden!


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